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How to Successfully Please your Mistress

by Ms. Sophia of

Checklists, Contracts, & The Relevance Of BDSM "Paperwork"

When newbie submissives first start searching for information online about power exchange and BDSM, they're likely to run across far more information than one person could ever possibly need. And without any experience, it's also quite feasible that they'll have no way of knowing what's actually important and what isn't. So today, let's discuss some of the first (and often most daunting) things that would-be subs might find in their search for information--paperwork!

Almost anyone who's ever done a search for BDSM has probably found a BDSM checklist. Checklists are lists of activities, and the person who's filling it out is simply supposed to choose the things from the list that interest them. It may be a fairly simple list, or it may be extremely in-depth, depending on which one you use.

These checklists, whether they're simple, complex, or something in between, are useful in pleasing your Mistress because they allow you to put all your interests and soft and hard limits in one place so that potential partners can know if your respective interests match up. They can also broaden your horizons a bit by mentioning things you'd never thought of before but find intriguing once they're brought to your attention.

Another type of BDSM paperwork that a new sub may find in his or her quest to learn more is a contract. A BDSM contract is a document that lays out relationshp expectations between two (or more) people. They, like checklists, may be quite simple or extremely lengthy and detailed, depending on the inclinations of the people who are involved in the writing of them. Contracts tend to be more personal than checklists, however, because they're usually written by the people involved in their making (like a Mistress and her male slave, for example), which makes them more customized than a standard checklist might be and another very important way of pleasing your mistress.

Are Checklists and Contracts Really Necessary to Please Your Mistress?

The Internet often makes both checklists and contracts seem like a pretty big deal. But the question that many subs might be wondering is, "Do I really need them?"

The answer to that question mostly depends on the people involved. In my experience, these documents are not often used in real-life BDSM play, unless the people involved really like protocol, ritual, and making sure every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed. On the other hand, there are some people out there who like them, finding checklists to be useful in finding partners whose interests match theirs and taking comfort in the security they believe a contract offers them.

So what should you do? Again, that depends entirely on you! Would you like to have an easy-to-access list of all your kinks, fetishes, and desires to show to your partners? If so, then by all means, fill out a checklist. When entering a relationship based on BDSM--be it a personal one or a professional one--would you feel more comfortable knowing that the expectations that will be placed on you and the various ways that you will be expected to please your Mistress are laid out clearly on paper so that you know everything to expect from the very beginning? If so, feel free to create one with your partner(s) when you enter a relationship.

If, however, none of these things sound appealing to you, don't worry. There's no rule anywhere that says you ever have to use any of them. The only real "rule" in BDSM is to do what keeps you and everyone around you safe, healthy, and happy! Oh, and to please your Mistress, of course. That "rule" is very important and can't be forgotten!

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